February 20, 2016

Thanks Amigos

We’ve all heard this quote before:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Do your friends define who you are? Take a moment to ponder this thought.

Initially, the answer is no. You are yourself and there is nobody who can learn who you are by being around your friends. We are each too unique to be defined that way. Conversely, what if I told you that your friends shaped you? The people you’ve met and the conversations that you’ve had with your friends with nurtured and shaped the person you are today. In that case, your friends have defined you.

I do believe that a person’s friends and experiences shape them. However, it wouldn’t be possible to know someone by knowing their friends. You can never know all his/her friends. Even if you did, you would have to understand them all and all their friends. When a friend of yours has a very questionable friend such as an alcoholic, you can’t judge either of them. It would be doing them an injustice. There is nothing you can tell from a situation like that. People’s friends shape them, but you can’t define a person by only observing their friends. You need to take this matter to a personal level. Whoever it is, I am sure that they’re much different than their friends.

I am dedicating this post to not friends in general, but my personal friends. Without my friends, I would be an empty shell. They have made me. Additionally, after 18 years I’ve come to realize that my closest friends will always be the ones who are the most like me. My dad once told me that short people and tall people can become friends rather easily because such differences give them more to talk about. that is true for him, but from personal experience, I find that to be untrue in my life. Differences separate people, they don’t bring people together. Similarities are the things that bring people closer together, creating bonds for life. You can talk to people very different to you, you may be intrigued by how they think and their backgrounds, but you will never be able to bond with them as well as you can bond with people that share the same story as you. People with similar stories and families have a bond that is deeper than friendship. Their stories are interconnected. They run a similar fate and are on the same plane. No matter what happens, there will always be a link that runs through them.

© Wesley Tian 2019

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